Babies Bring Love, Joy, and Opinions
The old saying "babies aren't born with instruction manuals" has opened the door for unwanted advice from family and friends, alike. If you're a mother, specifically a "new" mother, at first you may appreciate the guidance of those that went before you. But eventually even the most patient of women will break. You will most likely become a hermit, hiding the car in the garage, locking the doors, turning the ringer off and avoiding anyone that perceives themselves as an "expert" on the subject of motherhood and newborns. So before you become a recluse and start avoiding all human contact; here's some more advice on "unwanted" advice.
Often times, a new mother's insecurities get the best of her, and in all honesty, this happens to all mothers; not just the "new" ones. As mothers, we're always questioning our abilities to raise our children. You want the best for them and fear you'll make bad choices, its human nature. Therefore, when someone offers advice or guidance, we often take their words as criticism. But in all reality, most family and friends mean to help, not judge. Open your mind to their words; ignore the little voice inside your head that says they're judging you. In most instances, these same people have been giving you "unwanted" advice for years and you've never paid any attention to it. The insecurities of having a newborn often times warrants defensive behaviors when faced with unwanted advice. However, motherhood is a learning experience; it starts at the birth and never ends. Listening to family and friends that have walked in your shoes before can, however, be a soothing and rewarding experience.
Everyone will have opinions on certain circumstances and if you listen closely, even theirs will differ from one another. Pretty soon, you find yourself throwing your hands up and surrendering like General Lee. However, often times by educating yourself on what the actual "experts" say can eliminate the frustration and the insecurities that a new mom will face. Educating yourself on the best choices that you can make for your newborn can build self-confidence, self-respect, and sanity.
It is very important for mother's to have a good relationship with their infant's pediatrician, as well. Often times, the trust you put into your child's doctor will help fight off those insecurities that you may have. A pediatrician sees most infants several times during the first few months of their lives. These are great opportunities for mother's to ask questions. Keep a notebook handy, write down concerns that you have, or questions.
Lighthearted advice is just that, when given it's meant to be taken as helpful hints and suggestions. However, in some instances, you will have family and friends insisting on "their way" of doing things. When this circumstance occurs, be prepared. Thank the person and tell them you will consider their advice, quote what you have read from child-rearing books, explain to them that you and your child's pediatrician has discussed the matter and you're following doctors orders. If all else fails, change the subject or leave the room.
In many circumstances, especially those that are short-term, you may consider following the person's advice while they are present. In all reality, they will leave and when they do, so can their advice. Short-term circumstances that have no long-term effects are just that. They won't warp or change the big picture. If your mother-in-law comes to your house to "help", and suggests adding more blankets to the crib or turning the heat up because the baby looks cold, just go with it. When she does leave, you can quickly undo the heartfelt actions.
Often times, you may find yourself in a circumstance where all other methods of deterring an opinion or advice have failed. You have tried avoiding the subject, quoting a doctor or expert, and even ignoring the advice. But yet still, the person insists on you listening to them. It is at this time that you have to result to what I call, "the truth". In the kindest fashion possible, you explain to them your honest feelings on the subject, you express gratitude that they care, but in all honesty, the child is yours and you know what's best. If you're uncomfortable saying this to someone; ask a friend, your husband, or another family member to talk to the person and explain to them your true feelings on the situation.
It's important to surround yourself with positive people. If possible, find other mother's that share your views and values. Then, as mother's you can swap stories, not advice.
http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/newborn_baby.htm
Dr. James Brann is a board certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. He is also the Editor of Women's Healthcare Topics an information source for all women.
http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Police investigating injured baby taken to McKeesport ER Pittsburgh Post Gazette, PA - Allegheny County police are investigating after a couple took an injured toddler to UPMC McKeesport yesterday. The parents said their son fell down the ... |
Kids' rooms that will grow with them Chicago Tribune, United States - By Judith Crown | AP Jennifer Cohen wishes she had had the sense to think about the cents she was lavishing on decorations for her baby daughter's bedroom. ... |
Wichita mom arrested for leaving baby in car Kansas City Star, MO - The mother of a toddler who went briefly missing when the family's car was stolen was arrested late Friday on charges of child endangerment and released ... |
Tom Germond I’ll keep running until it kills me Tampa Bay Newspapers, FL - By TOM GERMOND On a cool evening, as I was jogging on the sidewalk along Vonn Road, a woman and her two children were walking toward me. ... |
The Parent Company Receives Nasdaq Delisting Notice PR-USA.net (press release), Bulgaria - Through its baby business, the company is a leading online retailer of brand-name baby, toddler and maternity products sold through the BabyUniverse.com and ... |
Injured baby in critical condition TVNZ, New Zealand - A 15-month-old toddler with serious injuries is in a critical condition in Starship Hospital in Auckland. Police are investigating the cause of the injuries ... |
Baby Jaheim was beaten, says autopsy Trinidad & Tobago Express, Trinidad and Tobago - A FRACTURED skull and blunt force trauma to his head, killed two-year-old Jaheim Roberts, an autopsy performed on the toddler revealed yesterday. ... |
Children's programs begin soon at library branches Niagara Falls Review, Canada - Register soon for affordable winter children's programs that begin Jan. 5 at all four branches of the Niagara Falls Public Library. ... |
The Parent Company Voluntarily Petitions for Reorganization ... Reuters - Through its baby business, the company is a leading online retailer of brand-name baby, toddler and maternity products sold through the BabyUniverse.com and ... The Parent Company Voluntarily Petitions for Reorganization ... |
Community to come together for tragic Baby P Wigan Today, UK - Balloons will be released in memory of the toddler, who suffered appalling abuse at the hands of his mother and two other people, which eventually led to ... |
|
RELATED SITES Apply Online for Credit Card. Bad Credit, No Credit, No Problem.
Planning a wedding day soon? Everything you need for a beautiful and memorable wedding day
|
Baby Massage: A Cure for Colic
Colic hurts. Any parent who has an affected child will know that there is almost no pain like it - the physical and vocal response to the problem can be highly tiring and its very difficult to stand by and cope as a parent.
Creative Potty Training
When I was potty training my two young boys, I discovered this method of potty training that made it an enjoyable, yet very effective way to potty train toddlers.First, make sure your child is ready for potty training, shows interest, wants "big kids pants" etc.
Will Kids Eat Vegetables? Yes, They Will!
You have made the decision to grow your own vegetables. It's a lifestyle and health choice.
Whats With Celebrity Baby Names?
It seems that the days of naming your son or daughter with your own name and adding a second, third or a fourth sign in roman numerals at the end are fading away. This seems to be especially the case with celebrities.
Baby Shower Party Game Ideas to Keep Your Guests Entertained
Baby shower party game ideas??This is the question which comes to every baby shower hostess' mind when she has to plan a baby shower and also brainstorm her mind to come up with an innovative game idea. There is also so much to be done in so little time.
Baby Room Decor Tips & Hints
When you plan for a baby room decor, the best thing would be to give attention to detail. Choose the one which would look eye catching to your guests, pleasing to you and comfortable to the baby.
Perfect Baby Shower Idea List for Necessity Type Baby Gifts
Perfect Baby shower idea lists for necessity type baby gifts. By necessity type baby gifts, I mean items which every expecting mother needs.
How to Choose a Baby Gate
Once your baby is out of their crib and playpen, you're going to need some way of ensuring their safety. That's why learning how to choose a baby gate can be one of the most important things you'll do while baby-proofing the house.
Selecting a Baby Shower Theme: Easy as One Two Three
No aspect of party planning is more crucial and sometimes mind boggling to a baby shower planner than selecting the baby shower theme. There are almost too many ideas available today, and often the host of a party finds themselves suffering apoplexy at the idea of selecting a baby shower theme.
Every Baby Shower Needs Great Baby Shower Games!
Games for a baby shower help the baby shower hostess make sure that all guests feel at ease.In most cases, only the mother-to-be knows all the invited guests, so the introductions as well as conversation starters are the responsibility of the hostess.
Baby Shower Hostess Etiquette
Does baby shower hostess etiquette allow for gift suggestions, if yes, how? Here you will find numerous ways how the baby shower host can provide the baby shower gift suggestions to everyone invited in a most systematic way.Although, gift giving is something very personal based upon the individual liking and disliking along with the affordability.
Language Development In Your Baby
From birth to one year your baby will go from crying to cooing to talking. Those are amazing milestones for your baby to accomplishment in such a short period of time as he develops his speech and language skills.
Baby Shower Invitations Add Style To Baby Announcements
Baby shower invitations set the tone for the big dayBaby shower invitations reflect the joy you feel at this special time in your life. Pregnancy is often a time for people to reflect on the meaning of family.
Favorite Cake Flavors for Baby and Bridal Showers
A cake is an excellent treat at any party, especially baby showers and bridal showers. Asides from making a great centerpiece for your snack table, cakes are a delicious treat that everyone will enjoy.
Special Considerations for the Premature Baby
Every parent hopes and prays that their newborn will be healthy and safe. Normally a pregnancy lasts nine months.
Potty Training Readiness Signals - Is Your Child Ready To Be Potty Trained?
So, you are thinking about potty training your toddler and you want to make sure that your child is ready.If this is the case, then you are reading the right article!!Listed below are the potty training readiness signals that will help you determine if your child is ready for potty training.
Hints And Tips On Scrapbooking Baby's "Firsts"
It is true to say that a lot of people begin to get the scrappin' bug after their child/children are born and usually their first attempt at scrapbooking is making a baby album.Having a child is one of the most important events in our lives and baby's first year is a busy, lively, ever changing journey of discovery.
Introducing Your New Baby to Your Pet
Having a child is a life altering event for you and your family. If you own a pet and are concerned about how your pet will respond to the bringing home of a little bundle of joy, then you are not alone.
When Your Wee One Goes Wee Wee Well
After reading several books about potty training (my son was a little tyke pre-Internet) and having little success, I found some helpful information tucked way in the back of a woman's magazine's classified section."Anatomically correct dolls - order yours today" it said.
Baby Boy Clip Art to liven up your Baby Shower Cards
Loads of baby boy clip art images are available, once you click your computer's mouse and get connected to the Internet. First, you must know what clip art is all about.